


wait out the plastic weather

by stvrwar



Series: marauders social media fic [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Social Media AU, Youtube AU, just laugh at it, listen i love these fics in this style ik it isn't good but whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 10:11:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14932268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stvrwar/pseuds/stvrwar
Summary: james potter to tucci gang: you guys see the newest vidsirius black: you mean the newest video that all of us are fucking insirius black: that cideo?sirius black: *videoremus lupin: the video you uploaded and sent all of us the link to like…twelve minutes ago?peter pettigrew: I think he might mean that videojames potter: fuck all of you not that videojames potter: and it has a name. it is out cHILDremus lupin: pardon me, I didn’t realize “getting kicked out of Walmart #4” fit on the birth certificatejames potter: I have small handwriting





	wait out the plastic weather

**james potter** _to_ **tucci gang** : you guys see the newest vid

 **sirius black:** you mean the newest video that all of us are fucking in

 **sirius black:** that cideo?

 **sirius black:** *video

 **remus lupin:** the video you uploaded and sent all of us the link to like…twelve minutes ago?

 **peter pettigrew:** I think he might mean that video

 **james potter:** fuck all of you not that video

 **james potter:** and it has a name. it is out cHILD

 **remus lupin:** pardon me, I didn’t realize “getting kicked out of Walmart #4” fit on the birth certificate

 **james potter:** I have small handwriting

 **remus lupin:** my mistake

 **james potter:** ur mistake indeed but

 **james potter:** not our fucking video morons

 **peter pettigrew:** ur unnecessarily mean to us

 **james potter:** lily evans video. The woman of my dreams. The greatest youtuber to ever fucking live

 **sirius black:** now that’s just hurtful

 **remus lupin:** and also why the fuck would we have watched her video?

 **james potter:** now who’s hurtful?

-

 **remus lupin** _to_ **so pete davidson and ariana grande are engaged and idk who I am anymore:** sirius why is this our chat name now

 **sirius black:** bc idk who I am anymore

 **peter pettigrew:** is it bc ur in love with ariana grande

 **james potter:** he loves ariana and he’s in love with pete

 **remus lupin:** I can’t believe you’ve never told us

 **peter pettigrew:** im touched

 **remus lupin:** when’s the wedding?

 **sirius black:** okay fuck all of u she is an icon and he is hilarious

 **james potter:** ur face is hilarious

 **sirius black:** im leaving you for him

 **james potter:** babe no I didn’t mean it

 **sirius black:** u’ve hurt me too many times

 **james potter:** I promise I’ll change for you

 **remus lupin** _removed_ **sirius black** _from the chat_

 **remus lupin** _removed_ **james potter** _from the chat_

 **peter pettigrew:** this happens like twice a fucking week

 **remus lupin:** so how’ve you been pete?

 **peter pettigrew:** pretty shook about that engagement tbh

 **remus lupin** _removed_ **peter pettigrew** _from the chat_

 **remus lupin:** I am an island.

-

 **sirius black** _to_ **the office season 2 episode 7:** yo Walmart 4 is on trending wtf

 **james potter:** !!!!!!!!!

 **peter pettigrew:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

 **remus lupin:** im not gonna do that

 **sirius black:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **james potter:** what number is it on trending??? Is this twitter or youtube btw

 **sirius black:** youtube and #6

 **remus lupin:** shit that’s our best yet

 **peter pettigrew:** anyone check the subscriber count recently????

 **sirius black:** the marauders are at 3.1 million what the FUCK IS UP YO

 **remus lupin:** im so surprised u aren’t key smashing

 **sirius black:** is it because im gay

 **remus lupin:** no it’s because u have massive thumbs and can’t text to save your life

 **remus lupin:** yes because you’re gay

 **sirius black:** that’s homophobic. Im not gay bc I keysmash

 **peter pettigrew:** ??? neither of you are straight. ????

 **remus lupin:** no you keysmash bc you’re gay

 **james potter:** WE ARE TRENDING WE CAN ARGUE ABOUT THIS LATER

 **james potter** _changed chat name to_ **BRAINSTORMING SESSION ASAP**

 **sirus black:** porn

 **james potter** _removed_ **sirius black** _from the chat_

 **peter pettigrew:** tasteful porn so we don’t get demonetized

 **james potter:** keep talking

-

 **james potter** _to_ **twinky winky is a great porn parody title why are you booing me:** aquarium vid is a goooooooooooo

 **remus lupin:** but the question is, can we live up to Walmart 4 hype

 **remus lupin:** bc that shit is going insane online. People love it

 **remus lupin:** we’re hoodlums, vandals

 **sirius lupin:** loveable vandals and hoodlums

 **peter pettigrew:** I feel like that’s debatable tbh

 **remus lupin:** we as a collective whole have been kicked out of four separate walmarts

 **remus lupin:** do you know how far I have to drive to get my fried chicken at 2 am

 **james potter:** why the fuck are you getting fried chicken at 2 am

 **remus lupin:** I don’t need this judgement

 **sirius black:** so how’s the aquarium vid faring

 **peter pettigrew** : u know what sirius is being the rational one for once and im too focused on the fried chicken to be amazed

 **remus lupin** _left_ **twinky winky is a great porn parody title why are you booing me**

 **peter pettigrew** _changed the chat name to_ **colonel lupin’s fried chicken**

 **sirius black:** is it really that rare that im the rational one?

 **sirius black** : jk ik im a messy bitch

-

 **peter pettigrew** _to_ **three’s company:** uh. Guys has james seen this yet

 **peter pettigrew** _sent an image_

 **remus lupin:** oh fuck

 **sirius black:** well I haven’t heard any high pitched screeching yet so, no

 **peter pettigrew:** she’s got more subscribers than we do, it would be good for the channel

 **sirius black:** she’s a video game streamer what sorta collab are we supposed to do with that

 **remus lupin:** idk, maybe a vid on her channel, a vid on ours? She’s in the same city so like, shouldn’t be too hard, right?

 **sirius black:** welp he’s screaming so he definitely has seen the comment now.

-

 **james potter** _to_ **chad and ryan were gay fuck you disney:** “hey we should totally do a collab sometime! Message me :)”

 **sirius black:** u have sent that TWELVE FUCKING TIMES NOW

 **sirius black:** TWELVE

 **remus lupin:** let the boy live

 **peter pettigrew:** okay but the smiling is a little concerning tbh

 **remus lupin:** **@james potter** have you even sent the fucked message yet? What did it say?

 **james potter:** “hey! I’m so excited that you wanted to do a collab with us! I love your channel and doing something would be super great for both of us. Anything you had in mind?”

 **james potter:** did I come off as a crazy person?

 **sirius black:** in the best way possible

 **remus lupin:** somehow that doesn’t feel like a compliment?

 **peter pettigrew:** maybe you should use MORE exclamation points

 **james potter:** stfu I am an expert at talking to the most beautiful woman in the world

 **sirius black:** excuse me

 **james potter:** I said woman

 **sirius black:** tell me im pretty

-

 **james potter** _to_ **little pig boy comes from the dirt:** fuck gotta clean this shit up

 **james potter** _changed chat name to_ **the marauders group chat**

 **sirus black:**??????????????? wtf

 **remus lupin:** has james been bodyswapped

 **peter pettigrew:** like the movie face/off with nic cage?

 **remus lupin:** I feel like there are better examples of body swapping

 **james potter** _added_ **lily evans** _to_ **the marauders group chat**

 **sirius black:** oh fuck now that makes sense

 **remus lupin** _changed chat name to_ **little pig boy comes from the dirt**

 **lily evans:** from that SNL skit?

 **lily evans:** I fucking love pete davidson tbh even though he breaks in like every skit

 **lily evans:** did you guys hear that he and ariana got engaged? Idk who I’m more jealous of

 **sirius black** _removed_ **james potter from the chat**

 **sirius black:** she’s our new james

-

 **peter pettigrew** _to_ **owen wilson saying yeah for 2 hrs:** drink every time someone comments about sirius’s appearance on a vid

 **james potter:** “im a simple girl. I see sirius, I click.”

 **remus lupin:** the words that will haunt my nightmare

 **james potter:** the comments on the drag trying vid are…bonkers

 **peter pettigrew:** who even says bonkers

 **lily evans:** wow okay some of these commenters are…creative

 **james potter:** by creative, do you mean terrifying?

 **lily evans:** yes yes I do

 **remus lupin:** I don’t even get it. He’s not that great looking?

 **sirius black:** okay fuck you, u trick ass hoe

 **remus lupin:** like, you cannot be everyone’s type

 **sirus black:** trick ass hoe

 **remus lupin:** im just being rational. You’re also like out. So who is thinking that saying they wanna have your babies is valid

 **lily evans:** surrogacy?

 **peter pettigrew:** sperm donation?

 **james potter:** adoption?

 **remus lupin:** fuck all of you individually and as a unit

 **sirius black:** trick ass hoe

-

 **lily evans** _to_ **shake shake shake senora:** okay just posted my collab vid let’s see how this goes

 **james potter:** what did u end up calling it?

 **lily evans:** “i teach 4 idiots how to play overwatch”

 **sirius black:** harsh but fair

 **remus lupin:** we didn’t do that badly

 **peter pettigrew:** remus die with dignity we did fucking awful

 **james potter:** idk what it meant when lily kept calling me a hanzo main and laughing but it felt hurtful

 **lily evans:** good. It was.

-

 **remus lupin** _to_ **three rings to rule them all:** so has james seen that people are shipping him and lily yet

 **remus lupin:** because we should NOt let him know about that

 **peter pettigrew:** he’d fucking cry

 **sirius black:** theyd be called lames

 **sirius black:** ha

-

 **sirius black** _to_ **james potter:** dude you gotta stop staring at lily when she comes over for pizza nights

 **sirius black:** she’s gonna notice

 **sirius black:** or like stop pretending that she isn’t noticing

 **james potter:** wait you think she’s noticed

 **sirius black:** christ you dumbass

-

 **lily evans** _to_ **marlene mckinnon:** you seen my newest collab with the marauders

 **marlene mckinnon:** we’re roommates, obvi

 **marlene mckinnon:** did u steal my lipstick

 **lily evans:** okay but like. The comments

 **lily evans:** …………………………………..what of it

 **marlene mckinnon:** gonna kill u evans <3

 **marlene mckinnon:** okay wow they really want u to get all up on glasses

 **lily evans:** that one’s potter

 **marlene mckinnon:** they want u to climb him like a tree

 **marlene mckinnon:** do the horizontal tango

 **marlene mckinnon:** netflix and chill

 **lily evans:** these are getting less clever

 **marlene mckinnon:** suck his dick

-

 **peter pettigrew** _to_ **wwlbd (what would leonard bernstein do):** uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh guys we are on tv

 **peter pettigrew:** TV LIKE WE ARE ON FUCKIN TV

 **peter pettigrew:** TELEVISION

 **sirius black:** what

 **james potter:** what

 **remus lupin:** what

 **peter pettigrew:** OKAY like not us but like. Our video. Walmart #4

 **remus lupin:** great now everyone’s gonna know we’re fucking vandals

 **james potter:** im fucking crying

 **sirius black:** IM FUCKING CRYING

 **peter pettigrew:** oh shit now it’s the video with **@Lily Evans**

 **peter pettigrew:** we are being called charming and loveable with an “adoring” fanbase

 **lily evans:** oh my god??????????? How’d you (we) even end up on tv

 **peter pettigrew:** idfk! Some like...social media segment or something

-

 **sirius black** _to_ **smonk wed:** settle a bet for me

 **remus lupin:** christ here we go

 **sirius black:** I don’t appreciate the tone

 **remus lupin:** christ! Here we go!

 **sirius black:** whatver, acceptable, james wants to bone lily

 **remus lupin:** uh

 **peter pettigrew:** that be known

 **remus lupin:** u know this isn’t the three man chat right

 **lily evans:** uh

 **james potter** _removed_ **sirius black** _from the chat_

-

 **peter pettigrew** _to_ **remus owes me like $20 and some triscuits:** who ate all my freezy pops

 **sirius black:** who the fuck calls them freezy pops

 **remus lupin:** who let you back into any of the chats

 **sirius black:** fuk u m8

 **james potter:** he was crying so i let him back in

 **sirius black:** and lily isn’t in this chat so i can say all the shit i want

 **james potter:** i wish u wouldn’t

 **remus lupin:** seconded

 **peter pettigrew** _removed_ **sirius black** _from the chat_

 **james potter:** problem solved!  
**peter pettigrew:** okay but who ate my freezy pops

-

 **lily evan** _to_ **james potter:** so are we going to talk about it

 **james potter:** about what precisely

 **lily evans:** the revolution of the moon and the fact it’s made of cheese?

 **james potter:** ah yes, it’s swiss btw

 **lily evans:** the moon?

 **james potter:** clearly

-

**COMMENTS ON “THE MARAUDERS TRY DRAG FT. LILY EVANS (EVANSLY)**

**Chaitea7:** oh my god why the fuck is sirius so pretty im jealous wtf

 **Janeyloo:** okay but anybody else picking up on the tension between james and the redhead??

**VIEW REPLIES**

**4marauderssssss:** **@Janeyloo** that’s lily evans, she’s another youtuber and

                        she’s fucking great

 **dva-main3:** they are definitely a thing, i agree

 **greektragdy:** okay but does this make their ship name lames? LIMES?

 **thomasthetrainbdsm:** is wormtail ever gonna make another appearance? I love that funky little rat

 **dwightkshroooot:** okay but why isn’t lily actually a like...try vlogger like these guys? she outdid sirius which is like. Unheard of.

**VIEW REPLIES**

**dianaprinces234:** like i never thought id see the day

 **yalldve:** she looks so good wtf im shook

 **adhfakjshdgljdsl:** i want lily evans to step on me and i would say thank you

**VIEW REPLIES**

**honeynutcheetos:** p sure james thinks the same thing lmao

 **011000110110000101110100:** lmao right???? Im so gay

 ** _TheMarauders:_** I definitely think the same thing -James Potter


End file.
